Lethal Dose

It started one day back in March when I was walking down Olympic Blvd. I spotted these stickers.

Then, no more.

Now, three months later, in Santa Monica, I spotted them again:

My doorbell rang. The young fellow with clipboard outside said he was “From the gas company and wanted to make sure you were getting your discount” and that “all you need is to show a copy of your bill.” Of course, the pup was barking loudly (he has a very deep bark), and naturally, being a Bostonian, the first thing I thought was, “BOSTON STRANGLER!” As if I would let him in! It would be fun to open the door a bit so the pup could stick his giant head out, but it’s not worth it.

only in H’wood could they make him into Stony Curtis (though he did do a great job.)

PS. I did call the gas co and they said people were going door to door and would provide ID “if asked.” Who on earth would open a door to a young kid in a t-shirt? No uniform? That’s crazy.

WOOF!

Judy Garland has been reincarnated:

Shrimp can see beyond the rainbow
LONDON (Reuters) - A giant shrimp living on Australia’s Great Barrier Reef can see a world beyond the rainbow that is invisible to other animals, scientists said on Wednesday.

Steve Irwin’s Ghost on a Rampage:

Canadian zoo investigates puzzling stingray deaths
CALGARY, Alberta (Reuters) - Officials at the Calgary Zoo remained baffled on Tuesday as they tried to puzzle out just why 34 of their stingrays suddenly died.

i know, it’s a different kind of stingray, but whoever invented this should have the same fate!

We already believe in apparitions, what’s the difference?
Vatican says aliens could exist

The Pope’s chief astronomer says that life on Mars cannot be ruled out. The official Vatican newspaper headlines his article ‘Aliens Are My Brother’.

Snake Man slithers out of prison cell
VIENNA (Reuters) - A man has escaped from his Austrian jail cell by squeezing through a food hatch in the door, police said on Wednesday.

‘Darth Vader’ spared jail in Jedi church attacks
HOLYHEAD, Wales - Hughes, who has a chronic alcohol problem, jumped over a garden wall and bellowed “Darth Vader” as he assaulted the Star Wars obsessives, who were shooting a documentary to promote their Jedi Church which was formed last year.

Thanks to Mark in Australia for the first two.

In “Here Comes the Judge” news, she’s been all over the news and there are more photos, including glamour shots with, natch, red lipstick (to match her scooter, I imagine.) Michael’s right … if only Edith Massey were still with us - this Judge is Queen Carlotta! Maybe she’ll declare it backwards day. She has a website!

I’m fighting off a cold, which means it’s just sitting in my upper chest making me feel all dry and “dusty” and horrible. The pup continues his 5AM wakeup call, bright eyed and bushy tailed (well, not really - pit bulls don’t have bushy tails) and ready to meet the world. You don’t argue with a crybaby pit bull even if it is 5AM and you’ve been having dreams about running thru NY’s garment district in a stretchy dress that’s far too small on your way to play board games at friend’s house, who takes pity on you and gives you a bedspread to wear as you follow the trail of a filmmaker that made a movie with Christopher Walken that even you’ve never heard of, because he made “underground” films that you only know about from strange flyers pasted on telephone poles; or you are resting in a Starbucks blue velvet couches, piles of fashion magazines, after spending a long night on Tenth Avenue in some kind of time warp, where you are going from club to club and Al Pacino is the barker for a porno theater that you have to keep passing on your way between clubs and you finally pack your stuff to leave, but it’s raining, and your car doors (which seems to be an early 70s green Ford LTD) won’t lock, and a couple tries to climb in so you have to drive away. Later, you end up in a period costume drama with Barbara Windsor where you get to wear medieval era outfits and you win a prize!

I’m cleansing my mind with this:
And One Was Beautiful
“A glamour girl loses a playboy (Bob Cummings!) to her shy sister and lets him take the rap for a hit and run accident.” Billie Burke is the mother and needs spirits of ammonia because of her nervous swooning when she’s not knitting or tut-tutting her girls (Laraine Day and Jean Muir) over their foolish choices. It’s filled with great dialogue:

Cummings to bad girl: “I don’t love you anymore. You’re beautiful and exciting, but prison gives you a new set of values. I don’t have much use for you.”

Cummings to good girl: “You little idiot, don’t you know I love you?”

I’m getting really sick of “Old English” typeface. You know what I mean; it’s somehow been adapted to whitey-hip-hop style, like the misspelled “Royal Dutchess” store in my neighborhood. This morning I had the good fortune to be behind this license plate holder:

It was pink, natch. Ugh.

From MSNBC:

PHILADELPHIA — Chelsea Clinton stopped traffic Friday night as she wandered the streets of Philadelphia on a gay bar crawl, winning rave reviews for both her politics and her appearance. Led around the neighborhood by Gov. Ed Rendell, Chelsea was mobbed by local gays and lesbians, as she walked from one club to the next. They ran up to hug her, posed for pictures and certainly invaded her personal space.

“I grabbed her ass,” one young woman exclaimed to her friends after snapping a picture with her arm around the former first daughter.

Where was Bill? Touring the swinger clubs?

Today’s Headlines are just fantastic, aren’t they?

Hail, Lipstick!

It’s been far too long and ebay is chock full of great Baby J’s and IOPs.

Lawnchair and Suntan Baby Jesuses.

Tin Can Baby Jesus.

My Little Nightmare Baby Jesus.

Johnny Eck Wall-Mount Baby Jesus.

Baby Jesus Nightie!

Our Baby Jesus of the Perfectly Tweezed Brows.

Sugar Mama

A local mother is in trouble after police say she brought her baby along when she broke into a Downtown Cincinnati candy store early this morning.

Officers believe 19 year old Christine Ruther and three others broke a window to get inside Minges Candy Store on Court Street in Downtown Cincinnati at 1:00 a.m. Police say Ruther took her baby out of a stroller so they could fill it with $400 worth of candy. Officers followed a trail of candy wrappers to Fourth and Race Streets, where they arrested Ruther along with 19-year-old Rebecca Gamble, 18-year-old Terrance Ware and 22-year-old Dwight Reed. Ruther is charged with breaking and entering and child endangering.

It’s “Minges” not “Binges”, Mum.

From the Telegraph, who has the best obits ever:

Frank Berger

Last Updated: 2:09am BST 09/04/2008

Frank Berger, who died on March 18 aged 94, inaugurated the age of psychoactive drugs when, with a colleague, he synthesised the tranquilliser Miltown.

Before 1955, when Miltown was launched on to the market, the only drugs available for treating anxiety and depression were barbiturates - powerful depressants that were addictive and had dangerous side effects.

As Miltown was perceived to have none of those complications, it was an immediate success and soon became the best-selling drug ever in the United States. Time magazine ran a story about “pills for the mind”; signs declaring “Out of Miltown” and “Miltown Available Tomorrow” became familiar sights on drug store windows.

The drug became particularly fashionable among Hollywood celebrities; the television comedian Milton Berle even started calling himself “Miltown Berle”. Within a year of the drug’s release, it was estimated that five per cent of Americans were using it.

By the late 1950s, however, it had become clear that the drug was addictive for some people; other manufacturers got in on the act and sales began to decline.

Although it was never withdrawn, Miltown was subsequently placed on the list of controlled substances and its place was taken by drugs such as Librium and Valium and, more recently, Prozac.

I remember reading one of Shelley Winters’ bios and she kept talking about Miltowns! Wondering where the name came from? A town in New Jersey! What a great permanent address … Miltown, Valley of the Dolls.