Lethal Dose

but GARY! Oldman, that is - the newest Hunky Dory in our Four Eyed Fan Club!

I even bought a pair just to have a little fun — and I don’t even need glasses. Well, it’s not quite the same.

Mavis has a new crush: Robert Q Lewis!
Here he is, making a minor adjustment on her latest pair o’cheaters:

Not long ago I met Ryan O’Neal. He was super nice, and charming. Of course, all I could think of was “Howard!”

How could I post about BIGs without mentioning some of our favorite Lethal Men in Eyewear, such as Wally Cox:

and Tommy Noonan?

and Caine slew my abel-ity to see straight -whew!

What about that new kid on the block - Keith Olbermann?

Oooh!

and Mavis’ long-standing crush, Jemaine Clement:

I have a girlfriend who has a thing for Arthur Miller:

and in a way, I can see it …

PS. and I almost forgot one of our favorite myspace friends:
Men With Large Glasses!

RIP, Liz! She was fabulous.

Inspired by my pal TJB, who blogged yesterday about one of our favorites, Tommy Noonan - here’s another one of our favorite hunky straight men w/glasses: George Fenneman! Yes, you read that right. I finally confessed to the Mister the other day that I had a crush on George when I was younger. Now he can’t stop teasing me: “Oh, you might want to tivo that in case … George Fenneman is in it!”

Did you know that he’s the voice that says, “The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent” on Dragnet?

George: I like him better w/glasses, but he’s no slouch without.

Keith Olbermann: Definitely a Noonan!

*”Noonan” (adjective)
- having an attractive, well-proportioned, and imposing appearance suggestive of health and strength, along with glasses; good-looking: a handsome man, preferably in large glasses.
- having a handsome, well-developed physique, usually hidden under a stuffed shirt, wearing glasses.
- sexually interesting or exciting; often mistaken for a scientist.

Ooh, I love Wally Cox. Every hot, thinking girl loves a geeky scientist guy. I was chatting with one of my most glamorous girlfriends the other day - and I mean a real Cover Girl - and she said,

“I had a crush on Don Knotts when I was 8 - beat that!”

It’s true. Mavis and I have always loved men who wear glasses … large scientist glasses. Not the serial-killer-wire-frames (why do they always wear those? Do they have a special store for pervs and serial killers?)

Mr. Peepers rules my world.

Now, just look at the difference of Wally sans glasses - it just doesn’t work.

Once, Mave and I were playing Mystery Date and we both wanted “The Dud.”

Of course, the Dud now is the hottest one … he kinda looks like Robert DeNiro!

La Liz is at it again - I hope! Mavis and I worship at the Altar of Liz … she’s the Patron Saint of our religion - MoreManIsm.

smokin’ Liz

Eight-times married Hollywood icon Elizabeth Taylor could be heading for yet another trip down the aisle as she declared her love for a wealthy businessman she met last year in Hawaii. She told showbiz bible Variety: “Jason Winters is one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known and that’s why I love him. “He bought us the most beautiful house in Hawaii and we visit it as often as possible.”

Goddess Liz being rightfully worshipped. I’m glad she dyed her hair back to black … white didn’t flatter those violet eyes.

Some attendees of the Church of MoreManIsm.

Liz presides over MoreManIsm Mass.

There’s a small article and pic in the new Vanity Fair of Zsa Zsa and the Prince, but the real juicy stuff is at VF Online. Leslie Bennetts must have had a hell of a time keeping a straight face. She probably had to borrow some of Zsa Zsa’s botox:

Another claimed that, according to his stepdaughter Francesca, von Anhalt first told Zsa Zsa he had been robbed by three aliens, but she “told him to say it was three humans, because people would think he was crazy.”

This coming from the woman who played The Queen of Outer Space!

Here’s the naked Prince:

and here’s some Z from 1969:

“I don’t vish to vork like this!”

“I hate that qveen!”

She writes: “Whilst working at my new job, I came across a new source of inspiration:

It’s all hairdos and philosophy! Along with Princess Luciana and Zolar, Mr. Ray is now among the pantheon of mortals that have risen to the height (and some of those ‘dos are UP there!) of Higher Powers! Praise be to Ava and the Gay Dolphin as well–they are also worshipped in MoreManism!”

MoreManism is our religion - Mavis and I invented it ourselves after finding other cults too focused on others. Why not? The only rituals you’ll have to attend are at places like the beauty salon, spa, or esthetician, and our sacred literature is easy to read - if you can’t find any copies of Princess Luciana’s books online (like we did, for only ONE PENNY!), just read any of the entries in PL category here … but, really, any old beauty book will do! And now with the discovery of the lost scrolls of Mr. Ray, we have even more inspirational reading for our canon.

Sacred MoreMan Saints include: Ava Gardner, Jayne Mansfield, Bette Davis, Big and Little Edie Beale, Serge Gainsbourg, Dean Martin, Elvis Presley, Kitty Carlisle, The Lady Reed, Criswell, and a few living saints, such as Tura Satana and Liz Taylor.

“The Gay Dolphin,” much like Ponce de Leon’s fabled fountain of youth, is our own font of wisdom, an oracle if you will, whose prophecies we have followed since first discovering its location some years ago.

You can learn about MoreManism through the following “educational” films: Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!, Grey Gardens, The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield, Boom!, The Barefoot Contessa, Blue Velvet, Female Trouble, Dolemite, and Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (a mere short list.) Also, some of the MoreManism philosophy can be found in any tv shows created by Paul Henning (Beverly Hillbillies, Green Acres), Bewitched, Gilligan’s Island (focus on Ginger), The Wild Wild West, Twin Peaks, Sanford and Son (any LaWanda Page eps!) or The Tom Jones Show, for starters.

Update: seems “Mr Ray” also has a line of products!