Lethal Dose

Read my piece on Hollywood Forever here.

Thanks, I think, to Sherrie for sending this along.

I think Olga and Helen would make a fantastic movie, especially when they go to prison. It would be great to get my idol and mentor Tura Satana to play a prison guard, because she’s sexy and tough, and of course being a guard, she’d be allowed to wear makeup. She can punish them by applying eyeliner in front of their cells. I wonder if they’ll be in separate jails?

Speaking of Tura, I had the flu a few months back and we were e-chatting. She admonished, no, ordered me to stay in. “This flu can mutuate into pneumonia very quickly,” she told me. One does not argue with Miss Satana!

Sadly, more than a few people I know have gotten this dreaded illness, so I thanked her for the good advice:

Hi Donna:

I am glad that you listened to me as well. I would hate for you to wind up another statistic from that flu. Yes, it always pays to listen to Tura, especially if you want to live a nice long life.

Always,
Tura

The “Poor Gabors” were found guilty! And have already started to pay for their crimes - in beauty:

That was then …

this is now.

She and Helen Golay, who was convicted of all four counts Wednesday, were accused of plucking Kenneth McDavid and Paul Vados off the streets, putting them up in apartments for two years and then having them run over in dark alleys. Two years is the period after which most insurance policies cannot be contested. Golay faces life in prison without the possibility of parole. She buried her head in her hands after the jury’s decision was read.

No doubt thinking of spending the rest of her life without hair and makeup - that is punishment!

Wishing she had stayed in the hair-removal business?

Rutterschmidt could be sentenced to 25 years to life on the conspiracy conviction. As the verdict was returned, she put her chin on her fist and looked blankly around the small, softly lighted courtroom.

The jury, which received the case late Monday, will continue deliberating the remaining counts against Rutterschmidt today. Golay’s attorney, Roger Jon Diamond, indicated that she would appeal. “The ladies did not do very well today,” he said.

I met Robert Blake at Whole Foods yesterday.

A highly anticipated entertainment tradition, The Academy of Magical Arts 40th annual Awards Show & Banquet celebrated the lavish world of mystic and illusion by gathering the top magicians from all over the world for one star-studded spectacular night that included Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Alexander, David Krumholtz, Hal Sparks, Matthew Gray Gubler, Steve Valentine, Tippi Hedren, Loni Anderson, Rose Marie, Bruce Vilanch, Bruce Davison, Dick Van Patten, June Lockhart, DeLyn, Julie Newmar, Richard M. Sherman and Milt Larsen, and host Bob Barker.

Presenter Julie Newmar strikes a feline pose.

Glowing Tippi Hedren.

Photo credits: Kari Hendler

From the LAT:

Sadly, the embedded code doesn’t work, but go here:
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The horseshoe for luck! Helen’s hair in the corner!
Priceless:

Olga: “They gonna lock you up!”

An attorney for a septuagenarian woman charged with murder in the staged hit-and-run killings of two homeless men told jurors Monday that his client was framed by her daughter, who was motivated by “intense hatred toward her mother.”

Roger Jon Diamond, who had delayed his opening statement until the prosecution completed its case in the double murder trial, told the jury that Kenneth McDavid’s death was clearly a homicide. But he said Kecia Golay, 44, was at the wheel of the Mercury Sable station wagon that killed him, not her mother, Helen Golay, 77.

Prosecutors said a tow record places Helen Golay at the homicide scene.

“That is the question: Who did this dastardly act, not how was it done,” Diamond told jurors.

The bouffant killers are on trial - oh, the one time I’d want to be on a jury! They must be miserable:

During the preliminary hearings, Helen Golay’s attorney asked the judge if his client could pluck her eyebrows and wear makeup at trial, but the request was denied.

Helen: ” … an aggressive landlord who often called police over minor parking and noise complaints. She once sued a woman for allegedly stealing leather skirts from her, and a health club after she got hurt on an exercise machine.”

Olga: “She has an expired electrolysis license, but it is unclear if she ever worked in hair removal. Rutterschmidt once sued Ralphs supermarket, saying stacked boxes fell on her, and often threatened to sue others.”

Now they’re being called “The Poor Gabors”! Wish I came up with that one.

Yesterday my friend and I took a little walk on the wild side for signage (photos coming.) On the way, we stopped for pepper spray for me, first aid supplies for her (she’s a red cross volunteer), finished off by cupcakes across the street from a casket company (!) … now today, I’m paying for it. Why? I forgot my friend is a diabetic (which is why I’m not outing her.) After collapsing in a fit of sugar giggles while photographing the “no smoking within 20 feet of the entrance!” signs on the door of the casket company and trying to track down the origin of a squawking parrot in a church bell tower, we reminisced about childhood beating instruments (her mother: a blue avon hairbrush; mine: a yardstick that said “QUIRK” in blue ink - fitting, eh?)

Driving to work this morning the “aura” came on … no, not ghosts, silly, but the migraine aura, the likes of which I’ve never felt before. My skin began to crawl, I got odd chills and that familiar pain in my head, this time in an almost vertical line down my forehead. I’ve been keeping a small bag of dog food in my car for a homeless woman and her pup who beg underneath a bridge I pass every day on the way to work. She seems to alternate shifts with an angrier, drunken man and I haven’t seen her for awhile. Today she came to my car and I handed her the dog food.

“It’s food for your dog.”
“Oh. I thought it was for ME!”
I noticed her hands were covered with silver jewelry - some of it nice.
“Got any water?”
I handed her a bottle and she walked off.

When I got to work I dropped a bag of frozen bagels all over the floor in the kitchen and gave up trying to make some toast. Now I’m at my desk, so nauseous I’m afraid to move lest I puke in my wastebasket. My sweet coworker had left me a chocolate bunny as a gift, but she didn’t know that I’m scared of giant bunnies so I had to put it back on her desk facing the other way.

Monday night Marky and I went to a swanky Hollywood thing and I wore big hair:

The weird thing about going to these events - whether it’s as a spectator or if I’m covering it for a “legit” blog that I write for … is when you’re walking in. People on the sidewalk turn and look at you in anticipation, then as you get closer, they turn away. The other night, a photographer started to reach for his camera then realized Mark and I were “nobodies” (except in our own minds, of course). It makes you realize how easy it is to go insane out here - imagine if you were famous once, then became a nobody and had people physically turn away after your star fell?

It’s a strange world.

PS. Today I got asked to play a nun on TV. That freaked me out b/c my mother was a former nun (she left before she took her vows.) Nuns freak me out. Not as much as giant bunnies or Peeps, but they still give me chills. Sadly, I didn’t get to do it.