what’s lethal?
Donna Lethal and her best friend, Mavis Martini.
Born after an orgy on the set of a now-legendary Filene’s Basement commercial, baby Donna Lethal was left on the steps of the Hollywood Home for Wayward Girls. Although the orgy’s guest list - found among Criswell’s possessions after his death - listed Ann-Margret, Jerry Lewis, Julie Newmar, Wally Cox, Porter Wagoner, Joey Heatherton, Freddie Blassie, and Little Richard (who all starred in the commercial), Lethal’s true parentage remains unknown. In such an environment, she soon became inducted into a life of crime, and is rumored to have been the leader, along with her best friend Mavis Martini, of the “Pussycats a-Go-Go-Go,” an all-female cat burglar ring known for their quick escapes and even quicker costume changes. Their signature move, “The Peppermint Twist,” was known to cause permanent red and white scarring around victims’ necks, but they never were apprehended. During a charity visit to the Home, Princess Luciana Pignatelli was charmed by the teenage Lethal and Martini, and took them under her wing, sending them to the Jacques Dutronc Finishing School in Paris. Lethal’s newfound manners and entry into high society were established when she became a regular on the risque game show, “Tongue Twisters,” hosted by Kitty Carlisle and the late Bobby Van.
Even with international tv and movie credits, Miss Lethal prefers to keep a low profile, with the exception of a Huell Howser interview on “California’s Gold,” and authoring one article, “Pengy, Engy, and Me” chronicling her neighborhood community gardening efforts with the late Burgess Meredith as they tried to stop Engelbert Humperdinck from selling Jayne Mansfield’s “Pink Palace” to condo developers (they lost.) She, Mavis, and cousin Lord Hugh Highball continue to host their now-famous salons, along with their loyal butler, Hives, and her two adopted third world orphans, Porky and Wheezer. She answers any questions about her personal life with “I thank my lucky stars for pharmaceuticals and Criswell!” You can read more of her stuff at Celluloid Slammer.
