Super Elastic Bubble Plastic
Not only could I use as much of this as I wanted, at the age of two I put my giant bubbles on display on the coffee table and end tables. They popped, eating the finish right off, of which I was reminded of by my mother until my parents finally got a new set. One would think that they’d be more concerned with, say, leaving a two-year-old alone with a tube of huffing-glue, but by that age I was already an old hand with chemicals, having already ingested Olde English Furniture Polish. And how did that happen? Mother would give me a capful and a rag to dust the furniture. One day she ran her finger to check my dusting and alas! When questioned as to where the furniture polish went, I pointed to my stomach.
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OMG, this stuff would get you high!
Comment by Thombeau — May 5, 2008 @ 12:28 pm
In third grade I did something bad to the outside of my body when I got an idea from a biker movie and drew a swastika tattoo on my left hand. My father, who was in WW-II and whose brother Jimmy was killed in the Battle of the Bulge, was his usual saintly self, and he calmly helped me wash it off.
Comment by Jim-Jim — May 5, 2008 @ 1:24 pm
During my preschool years, I had a big drag off one of my Father’s discarded unfiltered Camels but I never really picked up smoking, Then, over the course of a few months, I OD’ed on Bayer Baby aspirin, drank a small flask of 6-12, and slurped up the kerosene from a canister on my grandmother’s stove. You’d think a kid would get sick of having her stomach pumped all the time. I’ve learned my lesson though. Now I never try anything more that twice.
Comment by Tontileo — May 7, 2008 @ 9:55 am
I never drank any household products but I did set fire to a few things. I once stuck a pipe cleaner in the gas fire and then couldn’t blow it out. So I stubbed it out on the carpet instead… I also had a bonfire in the back garden and tried to hide the evidence (the embers.) In a moment of genius I decided it would be a good idea to put them in a cardboard envelope (I’d like to point out that I had already doused them with water.) First the dustbin started smoking, so I poured more water on said cardboard envelope and then I hid it behind the compost bin, which happened to be next to the neighbor’s fence. 10 minutes later, said neighbor came running like a bat of out hell screaming that the garden fence and my dad’s amateur radio shack (at the bottom of the garden) were on fire. Oops. Bless their hearts though, they never did tell my parents (we managed to put out the fire before the radio shack really caught fire.)
Comment by Sheila — May 8, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
That’s oddly ironic, considering your grandfather was the “burn king” of the RAF! Hiding the evidence … a wily gal!
Comment by Donna Lethal — May 8, 2008 @ 5:38 pm
I don’t remember ever ingesting any hazardous materials, but I’m told that I used to go around trying to stick keys in the electrical outlets.
Comment by Coop — May 9, 2008 @ 12:47 pm