Lethal Dose

Saint Paul (aka Saul) is for fear of snakes as well as the patron of Hospital Public Relations workers, but any Patron Saint of fear of wasps appeals to me more, and that is one Saint Friard:

Saint Friard
Born 511 at Bresne, France/Died 577 of natural causes (I know, no fun)
Memorial 1 August

Hermit on the island of Vindomitte, France. Friend of Saint Secundel. When tormented for his piety, a cloud of wasps attacked his tormenters; when Friard prayed for them, the wasps left. (So many questions! How can a hermit have a friend? Well, the friend was a saint too, so I guess that’s a fine exception. Did Friard pray for the tormenters, or the wasps? And how do you get a cloud of wasps to attack tormenters, anyway?)

Patronage: against spheksophobia (fear of wasps) spheksophobics

I couldn’t find any images of him, so here’s Susan Cabot in The Wasp Woman directed by one of my favorites, Jack Hill (and Roger Corman, who got credit.)

I know I usually post Saints who have died grim deaths, so here’s a handy list of people tormented for their piety.

… ain’t got no spare baggage. Whatever Barbara Windsor’s doing to keep in shape, I want to look as good as she does at her age. Hmm … keeping the Mitchells in line? Running a pub? Getting rid of that rotten bum Frank only to keep having bad taste in men? Dame Barbara, help us, we’re years behind in EastEnders over here. Not only does she play it - she lived it, too.

PS. Thanks, Mel!

Babs in “Carry On Camping.”

Hey! My pals over at World Famous in SF started their own label - how cool! I just figured they were having fun and living fabulously all the time and didn’t realize they were doing business-y things, too. Their first release is by an LA band, Hard Place. You can go have a listen there.

Jim-Jim requested this one …

I spent Earth Day in the dentist chair, contemplating how a tooth cracked while chewing gum en route to seeing Don Rickles could result in an injury so severe that it elicited three “Oh my god!”s at the dentist office. Each one of those OMGs came to roughly a thousand dollars for the cost of the repair work to my tooth, crown, and gum. The hygienist said, “You’re the first woman I’ve ever seen to do that to a tooth!” At one point, my dentist, his assistant, and I all donned special sunglasses while he used a laser. It was straight out of “Mad Love”:

If I hadn’t been told yesterday that this was my last week at work (not completely unexpected, but a few weeks earlier than I guessed), it wouldn’t have been so bad. Every year I pretend I’m going to put my tax return to good use, like liposuction on that pesky spot on my lower tummy that prevents me from wearing a bikini, or a trip to Tahiti even though Marlon Brando is dead. Now it’s all going into a tooth … far in the back of my mouth that no one except my dentist and his assistant will ever see.

I’m getting really sick of “Old English” typeface. You know what I mean; it’s somehow been adapted to whitey-hip-hop style, like the misspelled “Royal Dutchess” store in my neighborhood. This morning I had the good fortune to be behind this license plate holder:

It was pink, natch. Ugh.

From MSNBC:

PHILADELPHIA — Chelsea Clinton stopped traffic Friday night as she wandered the streets of Philadelphia on a gay bar crawl, winning rave reviews for both her politics and her appearance. Led around the neighborhood by Gov. Ed Rendell, Chelsea was mobbed by local gays and lesbians, as she walked from one club to the next. They ran up to hug her, posed for pictures and certainly invaded her personal space.

“I grabbed her ass,” one young woman exclaimed to her friends after snapping a picture with her arm around the former first daughter.

Where was Bill? Touring the swinger clubs?

I think Olga and Helen would make a fantastic movie, especially when they go to prison. It would be great to get my idol and mentor Tura Satana to play a prison guard, because she’s sexy and tough, and of course being a guard, she’d be allowed to wear makeup. She can punish them by applying eyeliner in front of their cells. I wonder if they’ll be in separate jails?

Speaking of Tura, I had the flu a few months back and we were e-chatting. She admonished, no, ordered me to stay in. “This flu can mutuate into pneumonia very quickly,” she told me. One does not argue with Miss Satana!

Sadly, more than a few people I know have gotten this dreaded illness, so I thanked her for the good advice:

Hi Donna:

I am glad that you listened to me as well. I would hate for you to wind up another statistic from that flu. Yes, it always pays to listen to Tura, especially if you want to live a nice long life.

Always,
Tura

The “Poor Gabors” were found guilty! And have already started to pay for their crimes - in beauty:

That was then …

this is now.

She and Helen Golay, who was convicted of all four counts Wednesday, were accused of plucking Kenneth McDavid and Paul Vados off the streets, putting them up in apartments for two years and then having them run over in dark alleys. Two years is the period after which most insurance policies cannot be contested. Golay faces life in prison without the possibility of parole. She buried her head in her hands after the jury’s decision was read.

No doubt thinking of spending the rest of her life without hair and makeup - that is punishment!

Wishing she had stayed in the hair-removal business?

Rutterschmidt could be sentenced to 25 years to life on the conspiracy conviction. As the verdict was returned, she put her chin on her fist and looked blankly around the small, softly lighted courtroom.

The jury, which received the case late Monday, will continue deliberating the remaining counts against Rutterschmidt today. Golay’s attorney, Roger Jon Diamond, indicated that she would appeal. “The ladies did not do very well today,” he said.

Today’s Headlines are just fantastic, aren’t they?

Hail, Lipstick!