Lethal Dose

Now, it’s a sad day when you mix those two up. And last night was one of those sad days:

Duchess

Main Entry:
duch·ess
Pronunciation:
\ˈdə-chəs\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English duchesse, from Anglo-French, from duc duke
Date:
14th century

1 : the wife or widow of a duke
2 : a woman who holds the rank of duke in her own right

A store opened near my house called “Royal Dutchess.” I watched the paint job, I saw the letter, I wondered if Fergie had something to do with it, because her solo record and nickname is “The Dutchess”, too. When did the letter “t” get in there? Being a Duchess has nothing to do with being Dutch; you don’t see “Printcess” misspelled anywhere, do you? What is wrong with people? Google the misspelled “Dutchess” and you’ll get lots of hits. Can you imagine if Wallis Simpson was called “The Dutchess of Windsor”? Come on!

There’s only one tea in our house, dear.

It’s Simple, Darling.

Zsa Zsa’s Miracle Car

Here’s some fun Zsa Zsa quotes.

PS. Save Zsa Zsa! Get her away from that awful “prince.”

WHAT to buy! The Vermont Country Store is having a big sale … and the choices are overwhelming. Hmm, I think I’ve narrowed it down to my “must-haves”:

They’re not? Well then I better get one right away! I’ll never have that “Oh, what to wear in winter” dilemma again.

A nice, basic tank top that comes down to my knees, should anyone try and peep at my thighs at the gym.

That’s obviously the “bikini” bottom to the above tank top, so I imagine this is for those stray, outer-hip and side-of-leg hairs.

A most flattering shade for all! Seen on old ladies at church when you were a kid - two fingertips in a circle application lasts for weeks.

Happy Shopping!

Love,
Blanche

Y’know, we only say “Happy Birthday Baby Jesus” at xmastime. But now that he’s a month old and all, let’s see what Baby J’s are out there.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Jesus? That head does not look right.

South Park Baby Jesus?

My friend calls this “The Dusty Springfield Jesus.”

And the best of all, from “PolandbyMail.com” - large, blonde, blue eyed and sacred-hearted (already?) Baby J!

“I keep telling you Jesus - you are far too old to be boxing my ears!”

Note: This is an updated repost because of a few new comments and one new pic!

As a kid I was fascinated and repelled by Kenner’s “Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces.” While I’d stare at him for hours in the Sears Wishbook, hoping Santa would bring him to me, part of me was creeped out by his corpselike look sans accoutrements. He wasn’t outright evil like a ventriloquist dummy and his disguises served as a way to make him look like, well, a thousand other faces. It was plain, chalk-like Hugo that terrified me: “Create thousands of pretend friends,” the box screamed and you knew who had these toys: you see them at comic book conventions. Where the hell did the other half of him go?

Jesus!

Years later, my friend would name one of those creepy, realistic baby dolls “Hugo” after it. There’s even a Virtual Hugo online! Too bad I couldn’t find the commercial, tho the MST3K gang did a good Hugo spoof during “Devil Doll” (someone posted the entire episode in pieces; you can see the sketch here.)

Jeez, this one’s for $90 on ebay! Look at the description - obviously written by a sadist:

“Nice vintage Hugo man of a thousand faces with box. Hugo is in excellent condition, the box is in good condition for the age, normal use. Including all pieces on the picture. Box measures 6″ x 9″ x 14″……Beautiful toy!”

… um, yeah. And I don’t even wanna know what “normal use” of Hugo would be.

see you in your nightmares, kid.

Howie and Hugo

PS. for more along these lines, see the amazing Secret Fun Spot. He’s the guy that put the SS Adams catalog online!

PPS. Step points out the resemblance to Johnny Eck:

and also points out the rather strange object: Hugo’s removable bum?