Lethal Dose

Maybe I should put these inside tea bag labels or fortune cookies.

If you are home from work, the leaf-blowers come, and work slowly.

If you are on vacation, the men with chainsaws will work on trees near your house for a week.

If you have the flu and are out of work, both of these things are possible.

If you have the flu and are out of work and go to the gym to use the sauna, there will be workmen and the spa will be closed. That’s good, because you will also forget your towel and flip-flops, even though your germ-phobia has not prevented you from getting sick.

If you have the flu and are out of work and own a giant pit bull, little dogs will fuck with you when you are walking him. If you are sick and out of work and own a giant pit bull and forgot a doggie bag, he will take a big poop on someone’s lawn just as they are getting home.

If there is a blackout and you are Mr. Lethal walking our pitbull in the dark, you will get invited to a swinger party.