Lethal Dose

For the fourth day in a row I’ve been awoken by multiple chainsaws. The school nearby has been “tree trimming” but not the usual holiday style. By today, I was so enraged that I called the police, apologetically, because I can’t stand when people bother cops for stuff like that. I made sure to call the non-emergency number, where the Officer on duty told me that he was sorry, but tree-trimming is not illegal, unless on Sundays. I guess it’s just fine to employ three men with chainsaws when you’re on vacation, because you won’t hear them.

Last night, enjoying the quiet, we had a brown-out. All of the lights went dim, and the tv turned off. It stayed that way for a few hours, which was sort of interesting, actually, because the little string of blue xmas lights we have running over the bookcases dimmed down to the smallest blue glow. Mr. Lethal and the pup went out for their nightly walk and I admonished them to be careful. I was thinking of traffic.

On their return, Mr. L told me they had been invited to a swinger party. I assumed he was making an odd sort of joke, probably based on the recent “Life on Mars” episode. I mean, a guy walking a pit bull in the dark?

No joke. He was greeted on one of our leafy suburban streets with one of those “Hi-neighbor-i’ve-seen-you-around” that led to a “I’m having a big Christmas party tomorrow night” (?) that will consist of “lots of hot chicks.” If you could see the neighborhood it only makes it stranger. These houses are classic angeleno-surburban-upscale, with that only-in-LA-tasteful/overdone Christmas light displays in a land that has never seen snow. And with the brownout, it was pitch black. Mr Lethal demurred, citing Mrs Lethal at home.
“Oh, you can bring her!” Mr Neighbor enthused. Another man stood nearby. Mr L says that Neighbor reminded him of Burt Reynolds in Boogie Nights, which makes perfect sense. Jack Horner around the corner!

I really want to go and peep in the windows, or at least park nearby to see the party guests.

“lots of hot chicks!”