Lethal Dose

what is a cooley clomp? named after spade cooley, my favorite western swing musician who stomped his wife, ella mae, to death.

cooley clomps of the week

When Step and I came up with the idea of the “Cooley Clomp” (he named it as I started listing the offensive LA license plates I see every day), I had no idea it would just get worse… Now, I just keep a running list in my car… Here’s the latest batch of clompees:

9/13/07:

FILMHAK (well, at least you admit you’re a hack)

MUSTCR8 (must crate? are you in the packing and shipping business?)

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let’s start w/ our old favorite, and original - spotted at least twice on sunset:

N2 ARTZ

and another hip use..of the number two:

Z FAN2C (an ancient Z28 w/its “hip in 1982″ plate)

it’s all about me - and i want you to know!:

N2 WHIMS (shudder)

FASHBL 8.. (w/requisite white tiny dog out driver’s side window)

PPRNSLT

GAS..<3..JAZ..(poor Jaz, and i sure wouldn’t brag about it).. –damn, i keep inserting a “heart symbol” but it won’t show up.

DIE DAME (german? or a horror flick babe?)

the sherman oaks ubermoms:

SUPRMOM

SWMI MMI

the karma police:

UR ME RU.. (i am NOT you, motherfucker!)

DONH8ME.. (who is don, and why does he hate you?)

through the obvious, darkly:

TRAFIK (no!)

MEEOMY

and the best of all: the PROFESSIONALS:

DMD AMA (yeah, so?)

CAST BY (an old toyota - and you wonder why you haven’t gotten work!)

and this one, which took me..a minute, but only in LA:

DR_SUER

..

cooley clomp award of the day

THUGNO2

i’ve seen this guy a few times. he also has “squidward” on his back window.

cooley clomp award of the day

KUL WIP

I(HEART)2PR4M

at first i thought it read, “i love to perm” and hoped it was an outdated hairdresser. maybe a pornstar. it got me thinking, though. what if i made a vanity plate based on some of my favorite things? don’t they turn down some of them? once i saw one that read WHITEPWR driven by a skinhead. how did that make it? maybe next year i should get creative and join the rest of my fellow angelenos with a “learn about me!” plate. but there’s nothing i want as a tagline, to follow me around. the only thing i can think of is one of my favorite film noirs:

BORN2KILL

or maybe

KSSOFDTH?

the other thing that really annoys me are the ‘family’ stick-figures that are popping up on minivans with the entire family and their names. who cares?! i don’t care about your damned family! i want to make one of the manson family: ‘Charlie’ ‘Sadie’ ‘Tex’ ‘Squeaky’ etc. i bet no one would notice.

today:
ZENBABE
two suspects: blonde in “yoga teacher” gear w/chinese symbols on back of neck (most likely), or “larger, lovelier woman” in vaguely asian printed clothing (as i call it, “pier-one-buddhist,” as in “my house is early pier-one-buddhist … but now that i’m into kabbalah i’m redecorating.”)