burt young at heart
I have a tendency to start conversations in the middle, mostly because I think I’ve already told you the prefacing details before. Which means, you either get to hear me tell it twice, or wonder what the hell I’m talking about. So, this time, I’ll start at the beginning!
When I moved out here 4 years ago, Magic Marky and I were at the autograph show and saw Burt Young. We stopped to chat w/him and Burt said to the ex-Mr. Lethal (who was still Mr Lethal at the time, but not for much longer),
“A redhead, eh? I bet you have to keep HER in line! Heh heh!”
Part of me thinks he smacked me on the ass, but that could have just been one of those mind-reading things.
Cut to a year later, when indeed I am freed of the ex-Mr Lethal. There’s Burt again, in a local parking lot. Then a few weeks later, coughing, as he explains, “Oh honey, I’ve got this cold, and it’s not going anywhere!” I forgot he played that bit in Sopranos where he was coughing and choking up blood. I had just had my tonsils out a few days before that episode aired and I watched it zonked out on oxycontin.
Then, Burt became a regular thing. Seeing me in the spaghetti aisle one night (probably in my supermarket-stilettoes), he burst into “O Sole Mio” or something. Then again, at Trader Joe’s. Last time at Trader Joe’s was his grand taxi entrance.
Yesterday, Magic Marky and I were going to our favorite old people restaurant for pie and sure enough, there’s Burt, walking through the parking lot.
“See - look, I told you, I see him ALL the time!”
Since we have to pass by him to get into the restaurant, I figure Burt will, of course, enjoy a little chat. Especially since I am in a green miniskirt.
“Nice car, Burt -what, no more cabs?”
“Hey! Oh … I had to get one … I couldn’t keep waiting for taxis all the time.”
This baffled me. I mean, it IS Los Angeles. So all those times in the supermarket, he lugged his groceries home by taxi? I guess I should have given him a ride home that time I offered him.
“You mean, you didn’t have a car?” I try not to sound surprised.
“Oh, I can drive - I know how to drive and all that. It’s just, you know …”
I reassure him. “Yeah, I know, it’s the NY thing. I didn’t really drive til I moved out here.” Marky is leaning against the side of the building, trying not to laugh at me reassuring Burt Young that it’s okay to drive in Los Angeles.
“And you at you, Mr. P.C., driving a hybrid.” I chide him. He shrugs his shoulders and looks at me. “What do I know? It has this map thing here - look - and my kids tried to program it for me … I tried to get home from Beverly Hills and ended up in San Bernadino for chrissakes!”
That one floored me. I wanted to say, “Coldwater Canyon” but I didn’t want to make him feel bad. How could … oh never mind.
“You can do it, Burt.”
“Oh, honey, I know. Ugh.” He actually looks kinda scared.
“Alright, well, we have to go eat now. Get home safe!”
“Bye sweetheart!”
As we walk into the restaurant, a man and two women stop me.
“Is that the guy who played, um …”
“Rocky’s brother?” Marky corrects me. “Brother in law.”
“Brother in law, I guess. He was on Sopranos too, you know him - Chinatown, Last Exit to Brooklyn.” (I realized somehow that that film was probably not on their list.)
“Yeah, that’s him!” They’re all excited. Star sighting at the supermarket in Studio City! After our pie, we drive by the CBS lot on Radford to see where Gilligan’s lagoon was filled in to make a parking lot.
